The Science of Dating (Freewrite #1)

The idea of true love, of finding your soul mate is engrained in us from a young age. As small children, we are mesmerized by Disney princess movies. What little girl does not want to wear Belle’s beautiful, yellow ball-gown and twirl around the dance floor in the arms of their prince? Answer: No one (not unless you were a fan of Ariel and wanted an Eric of your own). Love is presented as a magical and mystical entity, akin to cosmic constellations or the tides. However, in Fisher’s article “After All, Maybe It’s…Biology” the author presents a different outlook on love and bonding. Rather than wax poetic, Fisher attributes human relationships and couplings to hormones and evolutionary biology.

Fisher takes all of the common dating tactics, and unravels them to reveal the primal impulses behind them. For instance, a dinner date is one of the most common first dates for a man and a woman in the Western world. However, according to Fisher there is more behind this seemingly innocuous dating ritual, “If the man is courting, he pays—and a woman instinctively knows her partner is wooing her. In fact, there is no more widespread courtship ploy than offering food in hopes of gaining sexual favors. Around the world men give women presents prior to lovemaking” (Fisher 303). Furthermore, Fisher explores the nuances of our flirting behaviors. Everything from the way that men stick out their chests to the way that women twirl their hair is a product of evolutionary biology (Fisher 300). Every “femme fatal” trick or “playboy” move is divulged and traced back to its ancient roots.

While this information is truly interesting and eye-opening, what are the ramifications upon our beliefs about love, physical attraction, and courtship? To me, it’s a bit like a magic trick being explained to you. What I mean by this, is that something that once captivated your imagination and inspired awe has now become a simple chain of concealed actions. The magic is gone, and all that remains is a parlor trick. Furthermore, I think that this knowledge of courting rituals will alter our behavior. If people become aware of the subtle clues involved in flirting they may over exaggerate some of the cues, which could actually have the opposite effect. It may also cause people to behave in an unnatural manner that either gives off a false impression or repels potential partners. It is always interesting to learn new facts about human behavior, however some things are better left to mystery.